I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
