Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
