dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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