The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
