I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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