5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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