Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
