I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
