I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
