Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
