I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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