Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
