That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
