Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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