no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize