to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
