Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
