im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
