Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
