he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
