HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
