Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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