My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
