break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So drunk its hurt
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
