Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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