we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
