Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
