i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
