True but thats because hes a fetus.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
