literally had 100 drinks last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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