it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I want a musical about memes.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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