i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
