i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
