i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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