You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
