He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
