If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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