Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
