one two three fourrrrnication!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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