2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
