I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
