He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
