Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
