Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
