In the future we'll all be gay
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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