oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
