He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
