Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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