it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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