brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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