Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
